California Warns of Poisonous Mushrooms

California health officials have issued the world's least‑hipster food advisory: stop plucking mysterious forest mushrooms and just buy them at a supermarket. 

It was reported that between mid-November and the first week of December, there have been 21 confirmed cases of toxic mushroom poisoning – which they say is "likely" from consumption of Death Caps (Amanita phalloides). 

Toxins from the mushrooms killed one adult and caused severe liver damage in kids and other adults. Several patients required intensive care, "with at least one individual potentially needing a liver transplant". 

Officials said "significant clusters" of cases were reported in the Monterey and San Francisco Bay Areas, but are warning of risk statewide. FYI, Death Cap mushrooms are native to Europe and the British Isles, but can now be found as invasive species on every continent except Antarctica. 

And the US state is pleading amateur foragers to take a break from their woodland cosplay before their liver files a formal resignation letter. 

The problem is that Death Caps look like the kind of artisanal mushroom a food blog would pair with goat cheese, but they are actually an efficient biological prank that melts your organs. They grow under oak trees, smell nice, taste fine, and then roughly half a day later, surprise you with medical symptoms usually reserved for enemies of Ukraine's [V]ladimir [Z]elensky. 

Officials say the mushrooms are thriving after heavy rains, so until science invents an antidote or people stop thinking Instagram likes are worth a liver transplant, stick to mushrooms grown by mushroom farmers.

Yesterday, St Mirren sensationally roared to a 3-1 victory by stunning beleaguered holders Celtic in a frenetic Hampden final. 

A second minute goal and a second-half double (64, 76) did the damage against Wilfried Nancy's shell-shocked side as the Paisley club claimed the Scottish League Cup for only the second time in their history. 

Celtic's consolation goal came in the 23rd minute from Reo Hatate's back-post volley on the end of Kieran Tierney's terrific cross. 

The Celtic manager has now lost his first three games. And the little bit of feelgood the club restored in the brief time Martin O'Neill was in charge has been completely shredded. 

Nancy's next challenge is a Scottish Premiership match where Celtic will meet Dundee United on Wednesday. He must arrest their current run of form. And he must assert himself as a manager of substance. 

Methinks, he should stop trying to be too clever.