Shit Humor

One of my favorite stand-up comedians is Ismo Leikola – he is unlike most other gagsters who tend to rely on profane language and spitting out gender and/or race based humor. 

I really love his shit – do give Ismo a listen:

I’m sure you also had a good laugh at his ass-shit @ https://helpvictor.blogspot.com/2018/02/a-cockroach-for-prime-minister.html.

Yesterday, I was in Subang Jaya, Selangor to attend my first Toastmasters meeting of 2019. And it was special because this was Extol Toastmasters Club's 500th meeting. 

I must thank exco member Edwin Wong for helping me secure a speaking slot at his club. I presented an Advanced speech from the Humorously Speaking manual – my speech #684.

I did assignment #4 Keep Them Laughing and my speech title was Dream Grabber. 

I talked about my fantasy dream to be a suicide bomber, LOL! All because of the promise of seventy-two virgins. (Hopefully, they’re not males). 

Additionally, I was an evaluator for a Pathways speech. 

And for my laudable efforts, I received two ribbons for being voted Best Speaker and Best Evaluator:

Photos of the Extol Toastmasters meeting at AMPM Café in Jalan USJ21/5:

Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballé Sing Barcelona

"Barcelona" is a single released by Queen vocalist Freddie Mercury (right) and Spanish soprano Montserrat Caballé. 

A part of their collaborative album Barcelona, it also appeared on Queen's Greatest Hits III. 

The dramatic anthem reflects Mercury's love of opera with his high notes and Caballé's operatic vocals, backed by a full orchestra. 

Originally released in 1987, it was one of the biggest hits of Mercury's solo career, reaching number eight in the UK Singles Chart. 

After Mercury's death in 1991, it was featured at the 1992 Summer Olympics, after which the track climbed even higher, peaking at number two in the UK. 

And in the unlikely event you did not know of Montserrat Caballé – she was one of the most amazing singers on the opera stage in the final four decades of the twentieth century. 

As UK’s The Guardian had described her: “A throwback to an earlier generation of divas. She blithely ignored the new hegemony that made conductors and directors, rather than singers, the dominant figures in opera, confident that she was unsurpassed in vocal refulgence and bel canto technique – qualities she was delighted to deploy in an Olympic anthem for her native Barcelona with Freddie Mercury”. 

[Note: Caballé, aged 85, died on October 06, 2018]. 

Freddie Mercury and Montserrat Caballé in 1987. He was a great fan and called her voice ‘the best in the world’. Photograph: Richard Young/Rex Features

Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballé – Barcelona (Original David Mallet Video 1987):

Two other beautiful songs from that beautiful album of the same name:

Fifty-nine days and the box office receipts for Bohemian Rhapsody have totalled $702,552,268 worldwide. As at December 30, 2018. 

The Queen biopic is already, a runaway success, that’s for sure!

Smoking is Dying a Slow Death

I have the impression that hardcore smokers and ambivalent business owners are not making it any easier for the Health Ministry to secure compliance to the no-smoking ruling. 

I am already hearing that the law is seen as a breach of smokers’ rights – the “right” to feed an addiction that kills more than 20,000 Malaysians annually. 

Actually, it is more a case of the “right” to die a slow death. 

There are smokers who even argue that the practice of lighting up right after eating in a public place has become a “culture” and norm in Malaysia. It is bizarre to think that an activity that threatens public health and places a massive burden on the healthcare system can be classified as a “culture”. 

Last morning, I was in Jalan Jenderam in Shah Alam, Selangor for my nasi lemak (with sotong) and Coke – and I had two recalcitrant smokers for company!

Fortunately, they were not sitting anywhere near me. Therefore, I didn't need to add tobacco to my list of breakfast favorites, haha.

  

And in the evening, I was in a Chinese coffee-shop in USJ14 in Subang Jaya and mercifully, no smokers were sighted. 

I was very much relieved. 

In fact, I am pleased because since Tuesday, I need not worry too much about smelling like an ashtray. 

Bernama have reported that a total of 1,453 people have been issued warning letters for smoking while 3,879 others were given advice as of noon Wednesday, following the enforcement of the non-smoking ban at eateries the day before.

Of Crows and Macaws

In Malaysian towns, it is fairly common to hear the raucous caws of glossy black birds. 

These are the house crows (Scientific name: Corvus splendens) – definitely, not our favorite birds since they are scavengers, feeding on refuse found among human habitations. 

But in Caracas, Venezuela’s capital – we have wild macaws zigzagging the city’s skies. 

The birds’ plumage is a striking palette that runs from reds, blues and greens to yellows or oranges. 

These gregarious birds live incongruously from terrace to TV antenna, from roof to ledge to palm tree, from which they set out on noisy individual and flock flights. Indeed, a colourful sight to behold. 

It’s unknown how they arrived in this city of six million people. But many experts think they were introduced by animal traffickers or that they could have escaped from captivity in homes. 

Regardless, Caracas is not their natural habitat; macaws are at home in the wild – anywhere between southern Mexico and northern Argentina. 

Macaw, the common name of about eighteen species of New World parrots, belong to the genera Ara, Anodorhynchus, Cyanopsitta, Primolius, Orthopsittaca, and Diopsittaca in the family Psittacidae. 

The Ara araurana (left), clad in blue and yellow feathers, is the most commonly found in the city. 

You can also spot Ara chloropterus (red and green), Ara macao (yellow, blue and red) and Ara severus (red and blue). 

Ara chloropterus

Ara macao

Ara severus

Biologist Diego Diaz tells AFP it’s actually best to avoid direct contact with these birds “because they end up being a kind of pet, dependent on human beings”. 

But faced with unavoidable proximity, veterinarians suggest they could be fed fruit, vegetables or sunflower seeds, but never processed foods such as cookies, which is what they get in many houses. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if the crows can exchange places with the macaws?

Real Food Disappoints

Image credit: Webpage https://www.boredpanda.com/fast-food-ads-vs-reality

Remember when you were seduced by a Big Mac you saw in a telly commercial and how disappointed you were when you saw what you had ordered at your favorite McDonald’s?

Don’t ask me how this type of advertising is considered legal. 

It’s not only happening at McD but just about everywhere else too. The pictures just don't match the reality.

Anyhow, learn about the tricks that advertisers use to make food look temptingly delicious!

I came across this wee post on Boing Boing website last Friday. 

A new injury is supposedly making its rounds. It’s called “selfie wrist”. 

According to CBSNewYork, San Francisco doctor Levi Harrison is seeing a rise in an injury caused by "hyper-flexing your wrist inwards to capture the perfect selfie angle". 

“Selfie wrist” can reportedly cause numbness and a tingling sensation that people feel in their fingers and wrists.

I’m feeling really sad for humanity!

Strictly No Smoking

It’s all systems go for the no-smoking ruling at all eateries starting today. 

Health Minister Dzulkefly Ahmad said for these six months, enforcement officers would focus more on educating the public. No imposition of fines but take note of repeat offenders. 

There will be unhappy smokers, of course, who refuse to accept that smoking is now off-limits. Yesterday, seven members of the Pertahankan Hak Perokok (Smokers' Rights Club) filed a legal challenge at the Kuala Lumpur High Court. 

They are Mohd Hanizam Yunus, 52, Zulkifli Mohamad, 56, Mohd Laisani Dollah, 46, Mohd Sufian Awaludin, 35, Ridzuan Muhammad Noor, 52, Mohd Yazid Mohd Yunus, 48, and Yuri Azhar Abdollah, 39. 

They sought a declaration that the ban is unconstitutional and an injunction against the ministry from enforcing it. 

The Health Ministry of Malaysia is named as the sole respondent in the application. 

Dzulkefly (right) wasn’t upset – he maintained that the gazetted prohibition against smoking is based on firm grounds under the Control of Tobacco Product (Amendment) Regulations 2008. 

I reckon the government should next make a move to outlaw smoking! 

I was at a Chinese coffee-shop in Subang Jaya during lunch time – and I didn’t see anybody smoking. This evening, I was at a mamak restaurant in the same township – only one person lighted up. 

I think a smoke-free environment is possible – but expect hardcore smokers to persist with their smoking habit.

Passion in Toastmastering

I’ve been a Toastmaster for exactly 10 years and 6 months. 

As a Toastmaster, passion drives me. During all those weeks and months and years. Indeed, truth be told, Toastmastering excites me. 

Will I still continue to be on fire in 2019, I wonder? 

It's time to take stock of my Toastmasters’ achievements and recognitions:

There's much to be thankful for!

Happy 2019 New Year!

Yesterday was Day 215, the last day for Tabung Harapan Malaysia.

Terima kasih, rakyat Malaysia! 

French regulators had seized properties belonging to Khadem Al Qubaisi, the convicted former chairperson of the Abu Dhabi fund Aabar (a subsidiary of IPIC of which he was also CEO) in their probe into 1MDB, Sarawak Report informs. He was also the managing director of International Petroleum Investment Co (IPIC), Abu Dhabi’s sovereign wealth fund. 

These were said to include a country house worth 11 million euros (over RM52 million) located near the Cape of Saint-Tropez and a luxury villa worth an estimated 7.9 million euros in Ramatuelle – both locations are in south-eastern France, as well as two properties in Paris, a 4.4 million euros apartment in Avenue Montaigne and another unit near the Champ de Mars, said to cost 4.6 million euros.

Citing French daily Le Monde, the opulent and ornate country house – which has a vineyard and a landscaped garden with a swimming pool – is being rented out by the state for 19,000 euros a week – after it was said to have been “secretly sequestrated at the end of last year”.

Malaysians are still waiting for justice to be meted out to our 1MDB crooks. Justice delayed is justice denied.