Friday, July 27, 2018

A Privet Affair

A city in the UK has some very sick inhabitants! I’m referring to Sheffield. 

A topiarist has bemoaned that he has to continually make regular repairs to his hedge because this loose group of individuals had roughhoused it on many occasions. 

It seems that they were pretending to have sex(!) with it. 

Keith Tyssen has maintained his "privet lady" at his Sheffield home since 2000 – but he is frequently woken up in the night by trespassing passers-by who could not turn down the opportunity to attack his beloved hedge. 

Mail Online, July 26, 2018

The retired art teacher took exception of these debauchees because they climbed on top of “her” (the hedge) and pulled “her legs” apart, according to BBC News. 

He said he felt disgusted. And he added: "It's not always a guy actually, sometimes it's women who climb on her". 

He growled: "I don't want them to behave like that with my privet lady. She's too privet, or private you know?" 

Tyssen has considered putting up a sign or an alarm to curb the licentious behaviour – although I don’t think it will make any difference. 

The hedge, which he has sculpted over the past 40 years, started off as a Greek god but he changed it into a reclining woman at the turn of the millennium. 

The artist and silversmith said the idea for the woman was inspired by a renowned 16th century gold sculpture by Benvenuto Cellini called the Saliera. 

Dieter Nagl/AFP/Getty Images 

Tyssen fears he may have to get rid of the centrepiece of his front garden just to stop being confronted with the bizarre sights outside his window. 

ROTFLMAO! Sickos in Sheffield but truth be told, there are sickos everywhere!

I thought it strange at first when the doctor suggested it – but now, I'm just happy!

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