Monday, April 12, 2010

Penises and Testicles

I received this email telling me about this Beijing restaurant in Dongsishitiao Street that serves the most exotic of cuisines. The Guolizhuang menu is a broad introduction to the medicinal benefits of eating animal penises and testicles. Supposedly there are more than 30 different penises on its menu. The platters have names like "The Essence of the Golden Buddha", "Phoenix Rising", "Jasmine Flowers with 1,000 Layers" and "Look for the Treasure Sand". Are these ornate and embellished names meant to prevent guests from prematurely running off? After all, the "jasmine flowers" are made of thinly-sliced donkey penis, and the "treasure in the desert" is actually sheep gonads on a bed of curry!

Ox penises help "manliness". They're cut along the side and shaped into little stars.

The yak penis is served with a “dragon”, although I am not sure what the significance is.

'Henry's whip' is the house specialty at this restaurant. It's a sheep's penis on a skewer covered in mayonnaise and sweet cheese.

And there’s also a platter of ox and dog penises. The consistency and taste remind one of overly bitter rings of calamari, at least that's how I am told diners described them.

The penises are often dipped in soy or hot sauce. For women, eating penises is good for the skin, apparently. Well, ladies, are you game?

Donkey penis served on a bed of lettuce: For Chinese guests, eating the sexual organs is not a test of courage, but rather a treatment for the libido.

So the next time you are in Beijing, do check this place out! Or aren't you concerned at all about your male potency?

Liverpool and Fulham produced a scoreless draw. The Reds dominated possession but they failed to break down resolute Fulham. What more is there to say? I am just numbed.

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