Police Joke

On Wednesday, Inspector-General of Police Ismail Omar (left) made a startling claim that only one percent of a total number of about 100,000 police officers are reported to have taken a bribe.

Hahaha, hehehe! If 99 percent of Malaysian police are clean, then I am Lady Gaga! Ismail Omar is a dumb ass if he believes in this manufactured statistic. If the police are honest (i.e. the 99%), then Malaysia should be a better place to live in.

For a start, Ah Longs (“loan sharks” to non-Malaysians) will not be so brazen in soliciting for business and going after defaulters by swearing wicked retribution. Mat rempits (“illegal racers”) will not be so defiant when they turn Malaysian roads into racing circuits and increasingly becoming criminal with their reckless actions. Wide-eyed fellows will not be openly selling porn outside of 7-Eleven stores holding walkie-talkies that have direct access to police raid information. Neighborhoods will be dismantling their security fencing and doing away with the private guards that they have hired. And I can go on and on because there is a long laundry list.

This is not to say that Malaysian police are generally corrupt. That would be equally untrue. Many are decent, fair-minded and upstanding. Still, the fact remains that the Royal Malaysia Police is in an indelicate bind. Like many institutions that have been tainted by UMNO’s corrupt subversion, members are finding themselves having to choose between doing what is right and what is not right, or the third option of turning a blind eye! Didn’t I read in the papers that the former IGP (i.e. Musa Hassan) was reported to have been cavorting with the underworld all this while? [An online news portal had even made the specific claim that he and the Attorney-General Gani Patail were responsible for covering up and tampering with investigations into Johor’s underworld kingpin Goh Cheng Poh aka Tengku Goh in 2007]. Of couse, the refutal came quickly but can there be smoke without fire?

Anyway, I understand on that particular Wednesday, the whole country was convulsing in vexatious fits of riotious laughter when doubting Malaysians heard about brash Ismail’s brave pronouncement!

UK Tesco Boss Walks

Failed strategies have ensured that UK Tesco’s sales will continue to disappoint and this means that the boss of its British operation, Richard Brasher is being forced to step down after only a year on the job.

The supermarket chain's group chief executive, Philip Clarke had mentioned that £500 million worth of price cuts hadn’t been yielding the desired results and so he is challenged to take on responsibility for the UK business.

This latest act of desperation demonstrates how important the UK market is to Tesco. Granted that Tesco has been aggressively expanding overseas but the UK remains Tesco’s most important market, generating two-thirds of sales.

Asia is the second biggest market at 17%, closely followed by continental Europe at 16%. The United States, where Tesco launched the Fresh and Easy chain in 2007, accounts for less than 1% of sales.

Because of the importance of the UK market, Tesco created the post of UK chief executive in 2010 for Brasher

Even as Clarke takes over, Tesco’s fortunes are not likely to get any better. I am not optimistic. If readers wish to know more about UK Tesco, I had featured the story of Tesco in three previous postings as follows: September 28, 2011; October 25, 2011; and February 29, 2012.

I went to No. 57 at The Boulevard in MidValley to attend the MAICSA Toastmasters meeting yesterday. It was a good meeting because there were four wonderful speeches to listen to although I could not say the same for the evaluations. And horror of horrors, the meeting started almost twenty minutes late! I would score this meeting a 4 out of a 10.

Suu Kyi Appears on Telly

A still image taken from footage of Aung San Suu Kyi on state -owned television on March 14, 2012. Reuters pic.

Hello, Najib! Even the supposedly despotic Myanmar government is giving Aung San Suu Kyi an opportunity to make a campaign speech to the public on state-owned television. But in supposedly democratic Malaysia, you go all out to muzzle the opposition! Shame on you, Najib! Now, I wonder, who is the despot?

From Singapore’s The Straits Times, news have emerged that Singapore’s Rochester Mall has turfed out its planned anchor tenant Farmhouse Supermarkets as the store, linked to the Shahrizat family, was unable to get its operations ready in time. The supermarket was to occupy the entire second floor, spanning more than 25,000 sq ft, which PKR had claimed that rental alone for the venture would have cost RM2.2 million a month.

The DAP had already poured fuel into the fire when they accused NFCorp directors of cashing out RM12 million from the federal loan by channelling it through one of their Singapore companies, i.e. Global Biofuture Pte Ltd that was set up in December 2008. This information was obtained based on the latest audited accounts from the Singapore Accounting and Corporate Regulatory Authority (ACRA) dated December 31, 2010.

We know who the NFCorp directors are. No prizes for guessing the identity of the directors of Global Biofuture. They are Mohamad Salleh, Shahrizat’s husband, and two of their children, Wan Shahinur Izran and Wan Izzana Fatimah Zabedah. Another son, Wan Shahinur Izmir Mohamad Salleh, is a shareholder of the company. Yup, folks, it’s all in the family!

In drawing the link between Global Biofuture and the NFC, DAP’s Tony Pua noted that the former was among a number of companies run by Shahrizat’s family that sourced its funds from the RM250 million NFC loan.

Pua said the transfer of money to the respective directors was a clear case of criminal breach of trust and misappropriation of public funds meant for specific purposes, which must be investigated thoroughly by the police and the Malaysian Anti-Corruption Commission.

The litany of wrongdoings seems to just go on and on. I am only waiting for the authorities to throw the book at the whole family!

Cool Mask and Spare Mobile

I read this in UK’s Daily Mail on Sunday of an ingenious new invention, dubbed the AIRE mask, that harnesses the wind power created by breathing and converts it into electricity to run anything from your iPod to your mobile.

The electronic mask contains tiny wind turbines and the energy created is transferred through a cable to your electronic device.

Inventor Joco Paulo Lammoglia, from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, said the device could be used in all situations from running to sleeping. It can be used indoors or outdoors, while you're sleeping, walking, running or even reading a book. In fact, its energy is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

He said: “I hope to bring the concept into production and reduce the carbon footprint.”

Another cool product is the SpareOne mobile. It's designed simply to work as a phone – and built to last. It has no camera, web browser or other hi-tech extras such as touchscreens.

The phone is designed as a 'backup' phone you can keep in the glove compartment for emergencies. The idea is that you can keep it there without worrying if it’s charged or not.

Many modern mobiles will lose their charge over time, even if switched off.

Its makers say that SpareOne is ideal to leave in the car for emergencies or to pack in travel luggage – especially if you or your loved ones plan to go off the beaten track.

The SpareOne can be pre-programmed for instant access to phone numbers of key contacts, including the relevant emergency services in any location.

This unique phone runs on one AA battery and keeps its charge for up to 15 years. And that single battery offers a talk time of up to 10 hours.

This amazing phone goes on sale on March 15, priced at £60 in the UK and $70 in the US.

No Pay Rise for Lecturers?

Yesterday, The Star featured an interesting story on page 16 that caught my eye. It says that as companies compete for top talent, salaries are set to increase by between 20% and 30% for professionals with in-demand skills this year. A Robert Walters survey revealed that experienced professionals in the banking and finance, oil and gas, pharmaceutical, fast-moving consumer goods, IT and telecommunication sectors can command higher salaries in the job market that continues to be employee-driven.

I frowned. There was no mention of the private tertiary education industry. Yes, we are professionals too. And yes, there is an acute shortage of lecturers, particularly in the marketing, accounting and finance disciplines. I know first-hand because SUBS are on the look-out for qualified corporate lecturers. Still, I fear I am not going to see any pay rise anytime soon. Sigh. Why is it that lecturers are normally consigned to oblivion? Sometimes I think colleges and universities take academicians for granted.
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I was at Level 6 of KPMG Tower in Bandar Utama to attend the Toastmasters meeting this afternoon. I was the General Evaluator and like the previous visit in January, again, I enjoyed myself immensely. I am discovering that KPMG Toastmasters are really a polished fraternity of talents who are armed with admirable English speaking skills. I would give this club a score of 7 out of a 10.

In the evening, I went to 1Sentral to preside over the PricewaterhouseCoopers Toastmasters Club International Speech & Table Topics contests in my capacity as the Chief Judge. There were ten contestants in total, all of them from either Tax or Advisory. Again, I found an abundance of talent – they certainly have what it takes to deliver good speeches.

A Sample of Adele's Music

For those who are not familiar with Adele, here’s a sample of her music:




Last evening, I was at the Taman Indrahana Toastmasters meeting, and as is typical of our meetings, we recorded a good attendance – there were 24 of us, including two guests. Anyway, I was the Evaluator for Han Lee Hwee who delivered his Advanced speech from the Humorously Speaking manual and very surprisingly I was voted the Best Evaluator. I say “very surprisingly” because the other Evaluators were just as good, if not better – the likes of Ho Fong Ming, LeAnn Tang and Lim Thian Seng. Even the speeches were awesome. And Lee Tong Fong as the General Evaluator kept us in stitches even as he heaped praises on the club. Indeed, a great meeting that deserves an 8 out of a 10.

Relief showed on my face when I knew the Reds never looked in any danger of a fourth successive EPL defeat. In fact, we convincingly beat Everton – thanks to a Steven Gerrard’s hat-trick. It was also the first hat-trick in a Merseyside derby since Ian Rush scored four in the Reds' 5-0 win at Goodison Park in 1982, and the first at Anfield since Fred Howe achieved the feat for Liverpool in 1935.

The first of three goals came when Tim Howard saved Martin Kelly's low shot but Gerrard collected the loose ball and had the vision and touch to lift his shot over Everton's keeper and a collection of retreating defenders into the net (34). The second came when Luis Suarez weaved his way into the area and delivered an invitation Gerrard was never going to refuse as he thumped a finish high past Howard (51). The last goal came when Suarez was, once again the provider as he opened up the Blues defense before setting up Gerrard for a simple finish (90+3).

The One-fingered Salute

On February 21, 2012, Adele was crowned Best British Female Artist at the Brit Awards ceremony in London. [Already, on February 12, she had collected six Grammys in Los Angeles, winning every category in which she was nominated, including album of the year for “21” and best record for “Rolling in the Deep”].

"It's been an amazing year. Thank you," the BBC quoted Adele as saying.

But during her acceptance speech, she was suddenly cut off and in protest, she flipped her middle finger – see photo. [Her speech was ostensibly interrupted so Blur could give the final performance of the evening!]

Anyway, a wildlife photographer on Indonesia’s Batam Island, Shikhei Goh managed to capture a hopping mad tree frog who copied Adele’s Brit Awards act of dissent by giving Goh the one-fingered salute.

Image credit: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4189741/Tree-frog-appears-to-give-rude-gesture-like-Adele.html

Yay-y-y! Adele's got a fan!